Understanding and Managing Your Anxiety

Anxiety is a universal human experience. It is actually a built-in survival mechanism designed to protect us from danger. However, there is a big difference between the common stress we all feel versus overthinking and worrying to the point of always feeling anxious. Living with anxiety disorder is where the mind and body are stuck in a constant state of high alert, “fight-or-flight” mode, even when no real danger is present. Whilst everyone feels nervous occasionally, chronic anxiety is persistent, uncontrollable, and can feel like a shadow that follows you everywhere. Anxiety is more than just worrying; it is a full-body experience that can be mentally and physically exhausting.

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Your body may stay in “fight-or-flight” mode, leading to a racing heart, shallow breathing, muscle tension, headaches, digestive issues, and even panic attacks. Some describe it as a constant weight on the chest or a “tightness” that never fully lets go. It often involves spiralling thoughts or “what-if” scenarios that assume the worst-case outcome is the most likely one. You might find yourself replaying social interactions from many years ago or obsessively checking and re-checking work to ensure no mistakes have been made.

Some people appear perfectly calm and successful on the outside but struggle with intense self-criticism, social anxiety and an internal fear of not measuring up.

They may use a mask to hide their vulnerability from others. Anxiety can shrink a person’s world by making everyday tasks feel like insurmountable hurdles. Even simple choices, like what to eat or wear, can become overwhelming, leading to procrastination or a complete inability to make small daily decisions. It can interfere with communication and intimacy.

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The need for constant reassurance or a tendency to be on edge can lead to misunderstandings with loved ones. To escape all of this discomfort, people may start avoiding certain places, people, or situations. This can lead to social isolation and missed opportunities at work or school. Over time, anxiety can often lead to depression. All of the above can feel utterly disheartening. However, while it can appear to be hopeless, the good news is that anxiety is highly treatable and you can gain control over it.

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Here are a few of the techniques I teach:

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First of all, life does not create stress; your mind creates stress about your life.

It’s not the moment in front of you that’s bothering you; it’s you bothering yourself about the moment in front of you. For this reason, reframing negative thought patterns is extremely powerful; primarily because it is not a quick fix. It takes time and hard work to learn, and I will guide you through this process.

Negative thoughts are not facts but, repeat them often enough, and your brain will believe them. This is part of brain neuroplasticity. The same applies to positive thoughts. We will look at re-wiring your brain by shifting your mindset towards a more confident outlook.

Most of your anxiety comes from living in the past – but the moment is gone and you have no control over it now. Some anxiety stems from living in an imaginary future that you have no control over. The answer is to be present by understanding that nothing exists beyond this moment. We will look at practices like deep breathing, mindfulness, and regular exercise. These are common ways to manage physical symptoms in the moment. We will also examine learned behaviours which are influencing your current situation.

Are you a chronic people-pleaser? Do you find it difficult to assert yourself? Learning to say ”no” to overwhelming demands and “yes” to manageable challenges can help you to build confidence ove time.

Remember: worry is the pain you choose to suffer before anything has happened. Your thinking stems from your choices…which means that you have the power to choose how you want to think. We can fix and cure anxiety. It’s all in your hands – and in your head!